Summer in Greece, 2022 - Thoughts

 

Welcome to Greece. The country where, as they say, “democracy was born but then went to study abroad”. Greece, which in the past decades has been reeking of racism, neo-fascism, filth, environmental abuse, animal abuse, femicide, hate crimes, injustice and police brutality.

Greece is a beautiful country. It’s the birthplace of rich history and culture, magnificent literature, moving poetry and mesmerizing music. It used to be unspoiled and pristine, with a varied landscape, tall, ancient trees, rich vegetation, waterfalls, rivers, lakes, enchanting beaches, breathtaking views, and unique wildlife. It is a place that still combines the green colour of the trees with the turquoise to deep blue colour of the sea, a place of high mountain peaks and endless coastlines.

It’s also however the birthplace of entitled, shallow, ignorant people. The country where minimum wage is lower than rent and yet, people keep voting for the same good-for-nothing lot over and over again. The country where volunteers who save refugees are slandered and scorned and where people who are well-known for embezzlement, criminal activity and murdering nature in the name of profit become mayors and get awards.

It is the place where political activists, LGBTQ ambassadors and immigrants get murdered. It is where children are pushed from rafts back into the water and drowned. It is where women who fancy themselves public figures or ‘influencers’ belittle other women for their appearance, the place where being different is rejected and those who dare to differ, to resist, are bound to get attacked, bullied, tortured, and even killed.

Welcome to Greece. A place where arson has become a national summer sport. A place where firefighters are praised and called ‘heroes’ in the summer but when they participate in a peaceful demonstration to claim their rights to higher salaries they are thrown teargas and face police brutality.

Welcome to Greece. You are welcome, because you bring your money with you.

However, we are not.

On Loneliness

Loneliness is the epidemic of our time. Utter loneliness. No matter how much we deny it, we all feel it. No matter how many people there are in your life, no matter how many people you sleep with. That is why you feel empty despite being surrounded by others. That is why your ex-partner wants to be with you again. It’s not because they love you. It’s because they think you will make that feeling in them go away. But who will make the feeling inside you go away?

I recently had a very interesting discussion with a total stranger about how the urban landscape encourages, almost forces people to be lonely. We are programmed to leave our small quarters, enter our car, drive to work, enter our small office, enter our car again, drive home. And slowly but steadily we get used to having minimal interaction with others. And when they try to get to know us, we tend to be cautious and skeptical.

I have quite a few friends who are in dysfunctional relationships precisely because they are afraid of being lonely. They seem to be oblivious to the feeling of loneliness they experience within the relationship but it strikes them painfully when they discuss with others who are in deep, meaningful relationships. And their partners are just as damaged. And naturally, cheating is always involved, sometimes revealed and forgiven, others hidden and secretly reminisced in sweaty sheets on hot summer nights.

If you are not happy with yourself and with who you are but instead expect someone else to make you feel whole, well, good luck with that.

On Loneliness: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_xH7noaqTA 

 

“Je suis célibataire, depuis hier, putain!

Vous m’auriez vu hier…

J’etais formidable.” 

(Translation: “I am single as of yesterday, fuck! 

You should have seen me yesterday… 

I was sensational.”)

The Kindness of Strangers

Two young women are sitting on the train, talking about -what else? One young man. “So, then he told me that…” The second woman is listening carefully as the first one is narrating the latest developments in her complicated relationship with some guy.

A young man has sat on the seat opposite the woman narrating the story. He has been listening to the narration for literally less than a minute when he cuts in. “He is not for you. Let go.” The woman spontaneously laughs, feeling awkward. She goes, “Do you think so?” “Definitely”, he replies. 

Her friend disembarks the train. She turns back to the guy. She debates on it for a second and then takes a deep breath and asks him: “Why did you say that before? Is it really that obvious that I shouldn’t waste my time that a stranger who has heard nothing but a fraction of our conversation tells me to let go of him?”

He looks at her carefully. He has an air of confidence and he is sure of what he says: “Yes”.

She sighs. “You’re right.”

He: “What do you like about this person?”

She: “I don’t know. All of him.”

He: “Where is he?”

She: “Abroad.”

He: “And?”

She: “And nothing.”

He: “He is there on his own. And he is bored. And he messages you. That’s why he tells you all those stupid, vague things. What do YOU want? Why do you want this person? Do you think that perhaps you actually like that he is not here? Is it the first time you are attracted to someone who is far away?”

She: *blushing* “No.” (defensively) “But I didn’t know from the beginning that they would be far away.”

He: “It doesn’t matter. You are drawn to these people. Why is that? Because you DON’T want a relationship.”

She: “I’m not sure that’s true.”

He: “It doesn’t matter. He is not here. If he comes here, you’ll take it from there. And if he doesn’t come back? Will you waste your time? Keep your eyes open here. And enjoy your time. Find someone who wants you and fights for you. Someone who tells you ‘I want you, I want you, I want YOU.’ Someone who FIGHTS for you. Because you deserve that.”

She, looking down: “Thank you. That’s my stop.”

He: “Goodbye. Remember to enjoy your time. Do not waste it.”

As she got off the train, she gave the guy one last look. Did he actually have a point about her not wanting a relationship? 

She thought back to the people that she kept, again and again, choosing. 

And then she stopped walking and remained at the platform, eyes wide open, watching the train leave and disappear into the distance.

Summer in the City

When four-legged visitors come to relax on your balcony in the morning.

When you can enjoy a cocktail early in the afternoon because you don't have to go to work for another three months.

When you can lie in a hammock with a good book and a glass of cool white wine.

When you can relax under the full moon, grateful for the gentle breeze, listening to beautiful tunes on the radio.

When you can't wait for the days to go by so that you can hit the islands already.

Would YOU take the leap?

Ah, summertime. That blessed time of the year when my friends and I visit the most beautiful islands and find enchanting beaches on them. Some of them sandy, easy, accessible, and some of them hidden under steep rocks. After a climb -which, if you are clumsy like me, involves your mobile landing screen first on the rocks while you are trying to take a photo of the breathtaking view- the unique, wild landscape unfolds in front of your eyes and you just cannot wait to dive into the clear blue water.

Once I've taken the first dive and relaxed for a bit, I start looking at the rocks around the beach. Without fail, there is always a group of young people, often little children too, who climb up a rock and jump into the water from there. I admire them for a bit, getting excited at the prospect, and after debating for a while I join them at the top.

When up there, I look down into the water. How deep could it be? Is it deep enough or am I going to land on a rock and die? Perhaps it is too high, although it doesn't look like a long fall... And what if I fall in an utterly idiotic way and end up in a wheelchair? Gee, I cannot do this. I start sweating. The sun is hot on my skin but I don't want to go back to my friends defeated. Oh look, that little kid just jumped. What is he like, 10 years old? Surely I can do it too.

I go as near the edge of the rock as I can without fainting. The rock under my feet is sharp and uneven. I cannot take a few steps back and then jump because it looks slippery. My heart is racing, I feel the blood rising to my head. Am I having a heart attack or a stroke or something? Is that what this feeling is? Adrenaline. I take deep breaths. I start pep-talking myself: “Everyone is doing it. People your age, people in similar shape. You CAN do it. Just go for it. If you don't take the leap now, then when? Don't be afraid to jump. Never be afraid to jump. Never be afraid in general.” More deep breaths.

The youths that are jumping talk to me, encourage me. They're very friendly. They tell me to just walk to the emptiness. A lad is walking backwards towards the cliff while talking to me. “Look!” and he just goes for it. When his head surfaces from the water, he whips his hair, laughs and says “Come on!”. I can't. People are jumping. One by one, two of them together, quietly or with a scream of joy, they just do it. I look down one last time. It's now or never.

I can't. I just can't. I am overcome by disappointment. Why can't I just take a stupid leap? I used to do these things all the time when I was a child. What changed in-between? Did I become aware of the dangers of the fall or did I just somehow lose my courage? I lower my head and go back to my friends. I must have stayed up there for the bigger part of an hour. The whole beach has witnessed the scene. What a failure. “Let's go in”, I tell my friend.

Maybe taking the leap is something that I am afraid to do in general. Maybe it has nothing to do with heights, rocks or jumping. Maybe I am just so terrified of getting hurt that I decide to just stay in my comfort zone. I will take the road not taken for a bit, sure, I will explore what is there, but then I will return. I won't go all the way in. Not without someone holding my hand and telling me that if we fall, we'll fall together. 

                    Seychelles Beach, Ikaria Island, Greece

Mild Obsessions

Obsession has always been a recurrent theme in my life. Doesn't this hold true for everyone? It is only natural that when you find something that you really like, whether that's a series, a band or a person, you start obsessing over it. You start watching a series and once you are caught up, you start looking for more information about it: theories, commentaries, extras, all of it. You hear a song that speaks to you and you start listening to it on repeat, over and over again. You meet someone you are attracted to and you start engaging in the whole drama, will he text me, will he want to see me, will he like me back? And you talk about all that to your friends until their ears bleed.

The good thing about obsessions is that eventually, you grow out of them. You get sick of the song, you become bored of the bar that you've frequented for the past five Saturdays, you find a new series to watch. But does the same hold true for people? Do we at some point get bored of our crushes? Do we go like “ah, fuck it, nobody has the time to wait over the phone” or do we stalk the shit out of the person till we find someone new to torment us? And what if the world consists of an endless chain of people not being attracted to each other but each one to someone else? The way I imagine it, is you fancying someone who fancies someone else, who in turn fancies someone else and so on, a never-ending chain of unrequited love. Isn't that a disturbing image.

My current obsessions are trying out different cocktails and binge watching series. They may not be original but at least they're relatively harmless.

One Warm Winter Night...

I recently met up with an old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. He came over to my house and we sat on the terrace. It was a beautiful night in the middle of February, a night that smelled of spring: calm, without a single leaf moving on the trees and with the stars shining above us.

We sat there listening to music and a fair number of drinks later we got to talking about relationships. It was basically me narrating the story of my most recent heartbreak and him pretending to listen patiently while in fact thinking about completely random things, I'm pretty sure (by the way, if you are reading this, know that I tried to be as brief as possible!). Among other things I told him that for some weird reason, the guy I was talking to him about made me trust him, despite barely knowing him and although I find it very difficult to trust people in general.

“And you know what?” I told my friend. “He was the only person to whom I've been the first to say “I think I like you.”

My friend let out a laugh, maybe with a hint of bitterness. “Every time I've told a girl I really like her, she eventually disappears.”

We, humans, are truly strange creatures after all. That's why I think I'm going to stick with cats.