Loneliness is the epidemic of our
time. Utter loneliness. No matter how much we deny it, we all feel it. No
matter how many people there are in your life, no matter how many people you
sleep with. That is why you feel empty despite being surrounded by others. That
is why your ex-partner wants to be with you again. It’s not because they love
you. It’s because they think you will make that feeling in them go away. But
who will make the feeling inside you
go away?
I recently had a very interesting
discussion with a total stranger about how the urban landscape encourages, almost
forces people to be lonely. We are programmed to leave our small quarters,
enter our car, drive to work, enter our small office, enter our car again,
drive home. And slowly but steadily we get used to having minimal interaction
with others. And when they try to get to know us, we tend to be cautious and skeptical.
I have quite a few friends who are
in dysfunctional relationships precisely because they are afraid of being
lonely. They seem to be oblivious to the feeling of loneliness they experience within the relationship but it strikes them
painfully when they discuss with others who are in deep, meaningful
relationships. And their partners are just as damaged. And naturally, cheating
is always involved, sometimes revealed and forgiven, others hidden and secretly
reminisced in sweaty sheets on hot summer nights.
If you are not happy with yourself
and with who you are but instead expect someone else to make you feel whole,
well, good luck with that.
On Loneliness:
“Je suis célibataire,
depuis hier, putain!
Vous m’auriez vu hier…
J’etais formidable.”
(Translation: “I am single as of
yesterday, fuck!
You should have seen me yesterday…
I was sensational.”)
