Nah. I’ve been lazy indeed, but I’ve also been having more lessons than ever, plus a variety of brilliant new students, determined to make my life a living hell. Just a few days ago, I was trying to explain the term “painkiller” in a class of 11-year-olds and the example I used was something like “Do you have an earache? Take a painkiller and you’ll feel better.” On the same lesson, a while later, I said:
“Guys, quit making so much noise already. You’ve given me a headache.”
Their reply was:
“Take a painkiller.”
Well, at least they've been paying attention.
The problem is that I sometimes start laughing along. The other day, during a private lesson with a 7-year-old, I was wearing a hoodie with bear ears (!). When the little devil said “You look like Kung Fu Panda.”, I nearly fell off my chair.
And there's always the bribe attempt. At the end of another private lesson yesterday, a 12-year-old student gave me my monthly payment whispering conspiratorially:
“So… with that small tip… can we pretend that you never saw the Grammar mistakes I made today?”
“Hm... I think not.”
(aforementioned student's expression)
Other than funny utterances and bribe attempts there are also the completely random questions that make you wonder if anyone is actually listening to what you're saying:
Student: “Miss, can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Is it relevant to the lesson?”
Student: “Errr… No, it isn’t.”
Me: “Then no, you can’t.”
Five minutes later…
Student: “Miss…”
Me: “Yeees…?”
Student: “Can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Is it relevant to the lesson?”
Student: “No, it isn’t.”
Me: “Then no, you can’t.”
The same thing went on for three or four more times and then at the end of the class...
Student: “Miss?”
Me: “What is it this time?”
Student: “Can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student: “It isn’t relevant to the lesson.”
Me: “I figured. Go ahead.”
Student: “Is that a real tattoo??”
Me: -.-
So that’s pretty much what has been going on… Not that there haven’t of course been some rewarding moments. A couple of days ago, in the class that consists of the most restless and disobedient students:
“Miss, do you like your job or have we driven you crazy?”
They were suddenly all quiet. I smiled.
“I love my job”, I admitted, still smiling.
And they smiled back. It was the highlight of my day.
What do I make of it all? They just make me realize that I love what I do. Because children calling you mean is entertaining... but children hugging you when you get to school is priceless and it makes my cold black heart smile.
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