Boys will be boys.

Cursing, being gross and talking about girls. No matter what their age. 

During a private lesson with a 7-year-old:
Student, in a very serious tone: "Anna... Does your mum let you curse?"
Me (looking at him for quite a few seconds while intensely struggling inside): "No... no she doesn't."
Student, with a sad look on his face: "Oh... Mine neither."

Another 7-year-old -not a student of mine this time- looking at me with his big blue eyes and his round glasses and saying with a child's disarming honesty: "That skirt is quite short for your age". 

Very hardcore 9-year-old's composition about an evening out: "A week ago I went to the cinema with my friends. We saw a horror film, the Lord of the Rings 2. Then we went to a bar and drinked coca cola. I had a great time."
The bar part cracked me up so much that I even forgave that he wrote "drinked" instead of "drank". 

In a class consisting of 9 and 10-year-olds:
Nick: Miss, can I go to the bathroom?
Me: No, you should have gone before the lesson.
Nick: But I have to gooooo!
Me: Do you REALLY have to go?
Nick: Yes, I REALLY have to go or else I will piss on Victoria (the girl next to him).
Me: NICK.
Nick: Why, miss, it's what she deserves!

12-year-old student during a private lesson: "So the other day, me and my friends explored an abandoned factory nearby. It was dark and creepy and AWESOME. We just forgot one thing..."
Me: "Oh, and what was that?"
Student: "We should have taken some girls with us, so they'd fall right in our arms once they were scared..."

12-year-old's composition about something that happened at school... While almost everyone else wrote about a test that they missed and how cool that was or something boring like that, he wrote:

"Dear George,

How are things? I hope everything's OK. You won't believe what happened at school today. Some friends told me some things about the girls and you won't believe it. Guess what: a girl really loves you. She will ask you if you love her too!!! GIRLS. (blah blah blah main body of the essay)

I hope you answer my letter and we will talk at the basketball training today. Also, say hello to your mum."

13-year-old during a private lesson:
"I didn't understand this exercise. Can we do it together?"
"No, but you have five minutes to do it on your own and we can check it together afterwards."
"But it's different when we do the exercises together..." *bats eyelashes*
"I'm gonna throw up."
"Damn it, that always works with the teachers at school!"

Aforementioned 13-year-old:
Me: How would you feel if you were chosen to participate in an exchange programme abroad?
Student: Scared. I wouldn't want to leave my family.
Me: Really?! Oh, right, how old are you?
Student: 13. But I'm good-looking.

14-year-old student during a private lesson:
"So there's this girl at school and she's a massive wh... you know. So the other day she came at school wearing just a pair of leggings and she wore a thong underneath and me with 20 more guys were standing behind her, staring, as the light fell on her... We could see everything! She's such a sl... you know."
"If you don't like her, why were you staring?"
"Errr... you know, it was just there, what was I supposed to do?"

Aforementioned 14-year-old who has understood the meaning of life: "When an exercise is full of mistakes, you yell at me. When I do it correctly, you ask me if I did it by myself. You women are never satisfied with anything!"

14-year-old student's composition on the following topic: "You have decided to host an Italian student. Write a letter to the head-teacher with all the necessary details."

"Dear Mr. Stevens, I'm writing in response to the notice about hosting a foreign student. We would love to host an Italian student. I would like a girl because I want to find a girlfriend and my sister feels alone. So a pretty girl would be perfect. (blah blah blah main body of the essay) I hope we have been chosen as a host family because I really want a girlfriend."

And finally, in a group consisting of 14-year-olds:

"Miss, does 'playing it safe' mean 'masturbating in secret'?"