Mild Obsessions

Obsession has always been a recurrent theme in my life. Doesn't this hold true for everyone? It is only natural that when you find something that you really like, whether that's a series, a band or a person, you start obsessing over it. You start watching a series and once you are caught up, you start looking for more information about it: theories, commentaries, extras, all of it. You hear a song that speaks to you and you start listening to it on repeat, over and over again. You meet someone you are attracted to and you start engaging in the whole drama, will he text me, will he want to see me, will he like me back? And you talk about all that to your friends until their ears bleed.

The good thing about obsessions is that eventually, you grow out of them. You get sick of the song, you become bored of the bar that you've frequented for the past five Saturdays, you find a new series to watch. But does the same hold true for people? Do we at some point get bored of our crushes? Do we go like “ah, fuck it, nobody has the time to wait over the phone” or do we stalk the shit out of the person till we find someone new to torment us? And what if the world consists of an endless chain of people not being attracted to each other but each one to someone else? The way I imagine it, is you fancying someone who fancies someone else, who in turn fancies someone else and so on, a never-ending chain of unrequited love. Isn't that a disturbing image.

My current obsessions are trying out different cocktails and binge watching series. They may not be original but at least they're relatively harmless.

One Warm Winter Night...

I recently met up with an old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. He came over to my house and we sat on the terrace. It was a beautiful night in the middle of February, a night that smelled of spring: calm, without a single leaf moving on the trees and with the stars shining above us.

We sat there listening to music and a fair number of drinks later we got to talking about relationships. It was basically me narrating the story of my most recent heartbreak and him pretending to listen patiently while in fact thinking about completely random things, I'm pretty sure (by the way, if you are reading this, know that I tried to be as brief as possible!). Among other things I told him that for some weird reason, the guy I was talking to him about made me trust him, despite barely knowing him and although I find it very difficult to trust people in general.

“And you know what?” I told my friend. “He was the only person to whom I've been the first to say “I think I like you.”

My friend let out a laugh, maybe with a hint of bitterness. “Every time I've told a girl I really like her, she eventually disappears.”

We, humans, are truly strange creatures after all. That's why I think I'm going to stick with cats.

On Valentine's Day

My first high school crush did not exactly have a happy ending. I was twelve years old or something like that and the boy I liked ratted me out to the teacher for writing on my desk that I loved him. Mind you, all of the desks were dirty as hell but I got my name written on the -very literally translated as- “penalty book” nevertheless. And that was the end of it. I decided I hated him and found someone else to stubbornly crush on although there was no response. I had to change schools for that second person to finally come to me -something like two years later- and admit he had always had a crush on me too. Naturally, I was crazy about someone else by then. Story as old as time. But that's the way people are, that's how we behave. And no matter how many times we make the same mistake, we seldom learn from it. Like the fly which bangs on the window glass again and again in an attempt to get out. Isn't that what every single one of us does? No matter how well you know that the dish is damn hot, you are going to burn your tongue tasting it anyway...

Boys will be boys.

Cursing, being gross and talking about girls. No matter what their age. 

During a private lesson with a 7-year-old:
Student, in a very serious tone: "Anna... Does your mum let you curse?"
Me (looking at him for quite a few seconds while intensely struggling inside): "No... no she doesn't."
Student, with a sad look on his face: "Oh... Mine neither."

Another 7-year-old -not a student of mine this time- looking at me with his big blue eyes and his round glasses and saying with a child's disarming honesty: "That skirt is quite short for your age". 

Very hardcore 9-year-old's composition about an evening out: "A week ago I went to the cinema with my friends. We saw a horror film, the Lord of the Rings 2. Then we went to a bar and drinked coca cola. I had a great time."
The bar part cracked me up so much that I even forgave that he wrote "drinked" instead of "drank". 

In a class consisting of 9 and 10-year-olds:
Nick: Miss, can I go to the bathroom?
Me: No, you should have gone before the lesson.
Nick: But I have to gooooo!
Me: Do you REALLY have to go?
Nick: Yes, I REALLY have to go or else I will piss on Victoria (the girl next to him).
Me: NICK.
Nick: Why, miss, it's what she deserves!

12-year-old student during a private lesson: "So the other day, me and my friends explored an abandoned factory nearby. It was dark and creepy and AWESOME. We just forgot one thing..."
Me: "Oh, and what was that?"
Student: "We should have taken some girls with us, so they'd fall right in our arms once they were scared..."

12-year-old's composition about something that happened at school... While almost everyone else wrote about a test that they missed and how cool that was or something boring like that, he wrote:

"Dear George,

How are things? I hope everything's OK. You won't believe what happened at school today. Some friends told me some things about the girls and you won't believe it. Guess what: a girl really loves you. She will ask you if you love her too!!! GIRLS. (blah blah blah main body of the essay)

I hope you answer my letter and we will talk at the basketball training today. Also, say hello to your mum."

13-year-old during a private lesson:
"I didn't understand this exercise. Can we do it together?"
"No, but you have five minutes to do it on your own and we can check it together afterwards."
"But it's different when we do the exercises together..." *bats eyelashes*
"I'm gonna throw up."
"Damn it, that always works with the teachers at school!"

Aforementioned 13-year-old:
Me: How would you feel if you were chosen to participate in an exchange programme abroad?
Student: Scared. I wouldn't want to leave my family.
Me: Really?! Oh, right, how old are you?
Student: 13. But I'm good-looking.

14-year-old student during a private lesson:
"So there's this girl at school and she's a massive wh... you know. So the other day she came at school wearing just a pair of leggings and she wore a thong underneath and me with 20 more guys were standing behind her, staring, as the light fell on her... We could see everything! She's such a sl... you know."
"If you don't like her, why were you staring?"
"Errr... you know, it was just there, what was I supposed to do?"

Aforementioned 14-year-old who has understood the meaning of life: "When an exercise is full of mistakes, you yell at me. When I do it correctly, you ask me if I did it by myself. You women are never satisfied with anything!"

14-year-old student's composition on the following topic: "You have decided to host an Italian student. Write a letter to the head-teacher with all the necessary details."

"Dear Mr. Stevens, I'm writing in response to the notice about hosting a foreign student. We would love to host an Italian student. I would like a girl because I want to find a girlfriend and my sister feels alone. So a pretty girl would be perfect. (blah blah blah main body of the essay) I hope we have been chosen as a host family because I really want a girlfriend."

And finally, in a group consisting of 14-year-olds:

"Miss, does 'playing it safe' mean 'masturbating in secret'?"

“We'll always have Paris.”

On growing old and on feeling nostalgic.

 

So far, this blog has been about the random, weird or downright insane stuff that children utter. I always go on about how much I love my job because it keeps me entertained and as those who know me well will willingly tell you, I am one of those super annoying people who need to be entertained ALL the time. Problem is, the older I get, the less fascinating my life seems to become. Going out with friends is more scarce -since the majority now have proper jobs, are in serious relationships or have moved to other countries- and I work longer hours as well. Not to mention that I am going to be 26 soon, which means I am getting closer to being 30 and as we all know, it's all downhill from that point on.

So as I'm sitting in my room, wind blowing, it being late and all, my mind wanders back to times long gone. I recall how back in the day, in an enchanting, mysterious city, life consisted of partying hard, meeting new people every week, taking a different road every day and not knowing what awaits in the next corner. We used to walk and not drive. We used to laugh heartily and not smile politely. We used to be in places where we were not supposed to be and drink very cheap wine and read and dance and kiss. We were not “comme-il-faut”, we were not perfectly moral and we may have even broken the law once or twice. But above all, we were ALIVE. Young, excited and thirsty for life. And there is nothing in the world that I miss more than that.

 

It’s that time of the year again

Okay, okay, this entry was meant to be posted on Christmas… On Christmas 2012, to be precise. Don’t judge me! It’s not as if you’ve never postponed doing something... for over a year. Aaaaanyway, without further ado, here are some of the dialogues that took place before the winter holidays.

In a beginners' class:

Boy 1: "Miss, can I ask Santa for a zombie?"

Me: "I don't know Nick, you can try and tell me how it goes."

Boy 2: "You know that Santa is your mum and dad, right?"

There was utter silence in the class for a few seconds and I held my breath.

Boy 1: "Yeah, yes I know that." *pause* "I still want that zombie though."

8-year-old boy’s sincere question while watching The Polar Express: “Oh wow! Does the Polar Express come to Greece too?”

During a private lesson with a 14-year-old student:

Me: “Okay, I'll see you on the 27^th for our next lesson! Merry Christmas!”
Student: “On the 27^th? No way! I'm coming over on the 24^th to sing the Christmas carols. See you at 7am!”

Me: “Yeah, do that, and you won’t be singing the carols to anyone else…”

During the school party before the Christmas holidays:

Student 1: “So when I first saw you I figured that you were very strict.”

Student 2: “Nah, she’s actually really cool and she tells loads of jokes.”

Me: “Awww!”

Student 2: “So I charge 0.25€ per compliment…”

(By the way, I don’t joke much in class. I’m just plain honest and they think I’m joking. Not understanding sarcasm or actually appreciating it?)

A couple of days before that, I was having a private lesson with an 8-year-old in his house. While we were sitting in front of the lit fireplace, suddenly a loud bang was heard from inside the fireplace. He jumped up. I looked at him and opened my eyes widely: "It's SANTA!!!"

And then, during a lesson with the same little boy:
Me: "So, we won't be having a lesson for the next two weeks, try not to be too sad..."
Student: "I'm so sad that I'll throw a party with a band playing live."
Me: "Oh come on. I can almost see the tears in your eyes."
Student: "They're tears of joy..."
Outsmarted by an 8-year-old: check.

It's been a while.

Well, it certainly has. Apparently, I’ve been “ way too busy ” for the past… seven months.

Nah. I’ve been lazy indeed, but I’ve also been having more lessons than ever, plus a variety of brilliant new students, determined to make my life a living hell. Just a few days ago, I was trying to explain the term “painkiller” in a class of 11-year-olds and the example I used was something like “Do you have an earache? Take a painkiller and you’ll feel better.” On the same lesson, a while later, I said:

“Guys, quit making so much noise already. You’ve given me a headache.”

Their reply was:

“Take a painkiller.”

Well, at least they've been paying attention.

The problem is that I sometimes start laughing along. The other day, during a private lesson with a 7-year-old, I was wearing a hoodie with bear ears (!). When the little devil said “You look like Kung Fu Panda.”, I nearly fell off my chair.

And there's always the bribe attempt. At the end of another private lesson yesterday, a 12-year-old student gave me my monthly payment whispering conspiratorially:

“So… with that small tip… can we pretend that you never saw the Grammar mistakes I made today?”

“Hm... I think not.”

                                
                                (aforementioned student's expression)

Other than funny utterances and bribe attempts there are also the completely random questions that make you wonder if anyone is actually listening to what you're saying:

Student: “Miss, can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Is it relevant to the lesson?”
Student: “Errr… No, it isn’t.”
Me: “Then no, you can’t.”

Five minutes later…

Student: “Miss…”
Me: “Yeees…?”
Student: “Can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Is it relevant to the lesson?”
Student: “No, it isn’t.”
Me: “Then no, you can’t.”

The same thing went on for three or four more times and then at the end of the class...

Student: “Miss?”
Me: “What is it this time?”
Student: “Can I ask you a question?”
Me: “Yes.”
Student: “It isn’t relevant to the lesson.”
Me: “I figured. Go ahead.”
Student: “Is that a real tattoo??”
Me: -.-

So that’s pretty much what has been going on… Not that there haven’t of course been some rewarding moments. A couple of days ago, in the class that consists of the most restless and disobedient students:

“Miss, do you like your job or have we driven you crazy?”
They were suddenly all quiet. I smiled.
“I love my job”, I admitted, still smiling.
And they smiled back. It was the highlight of my day.

What do I make of it all? They just make me realize that I love what I do. Because children calling you mean is entertaining... but children hugging you when you get to school is priceless and it makes my cold black heart smile.